Happy Friday Everyone! Happy Valentine’s Day actually…! This took me a while to get through, as you’ll see, it’s way too much information from me answering the questions you had about life with two under two (and the decision to have an elected second c-section!).

I’m not going to promise all of it’s helpful. I’m not going to promise it all makes sense. And I can guarantee you won’t all agree with everything we’ve done.

As most of you probably know, but on the off-chance someone reading doesn’t, I gave birth to our first son Henry in May 2018 via c-section after a 20-hour labor with little progress. I got pregnant again seven months later with our second son, and after a few months of consideration, ultimately decided to have an elected c-section, and I gave birth to Charles (Charlie) in late October 2019.

Before I had Charlie, I received a lot of messages from moms who had two under two who stated simply: the first six months are very hard, and then it’s so so great.

The fourth trimester–Charlie’s newborn months–were exhausting. Well, the first month in particular, due to my surgery recovery and Henry getting a highly contagious illness, which I detail below. Charlie’s also had a couple (what I think are common?) infant ailments–namely bad reflux–but also trouble sleeping, extreme sensitivity to light and sound (made naps during the day difficult), and early teething (this started month 3). Thank the lawd for infant Tylonel, Gas Drops, and the oven exhaust fan.

That being said, truly every month has gotten so much easier than the one before it, and I’m so excited for what’s to come.

If you have follow-up questions or advice you’d love to share in a respectful way, please leave a comment or DM. Moms helping moms, amirite? Here for it.

 

If you’re squeamish or prone to thinking “TMI! TMI!”– maybe stop reading now. I talk about post-partum bleeding, bowel movements, and more. Fun.

If you’re reading this to judge me, compare your experience with mine so you can feel better about yourself, or get more material for your next anonymous rant… cool.

 

All of these questions were submitted via Instagram back in December. A few of which were asked by a lot of you (mainly the formula and c-section questions). Some questions I didn’t answer because all of the information can be found in this post I did about the key items we used in the 4th trimester.

 

Some FAQ about product:

– the baby carrier Charlie lived in his first several months of life
– the inexpensive baby monitor (great for travel)
– the full-room baby monitors we have in both boys’ rooms
– infant bath
– formula (Holle PRE and Hipp Combiotik)
– the pack-n-play (travel crib) we keep out in our family room to safely stow Henry if we need to rush upstairs for Charlie
– the pajamas Charlie has lived in since birth (and Henry does, a well)
– the pacifiers Charlie uses that stays in his mouth more easily
– the mini refrigerator we keep in our room and use for night feedings

 

Alright, here we go!

 

How did you prepare for postpartum in balancing a newborn, toddler, and healing?

We did a few things… a lot of it is outlined in this post! I’d like to give a big shoutout to technology and all the amazing apps and delivery options now available. We really leaned into the whole delivery lifestyle this time around and it’s been amazingly helpful.

Here’s what we did:

• set up meal delivery for Henry’s dinners (we used Nurture Life, they offer everything from infant purees to meals for adults). This was short-lived however as it aligned w/ Henry transforming into a pickier eater. So we cancelled the meal service and now he’s on a rather predictable (albeit boring) routine of dinners, none of which take especially long to cook. That being said–the meals are awesome. Henry just wasn’t having it.
• set up meal delivery for Dan’s and my dinners: we used Freshly. I thought this would last a month and yet here we are, still getting 6 Freshly meals delivered every week. I tell you though re: cost, which ends up being around $9/meal, we have regretfully let more groceries go to waste, yet we’ve never thrown away a Freshly meal.
• set up changing stations on both floors including outfits, burp cloths, and Gas Drops
• set up post-partum recovery stations in both bathrooms stocked with pads, additional pairs of mesh underwear, prepH wipes, all that good stuff
• secured child care for the four days we’d be in the hospital–having a scheduled c-section made this part much easier
• scheduled house cleaning for every week the first month back from the hospital
• secured dog care for the time we’d be in the hospital–this was definitely a stressor when I went into labor with Henry two weeks early and we had no one with a house key to go let Tucker and Fiona and out. A friend had to come to the hospital to get a key. Oy. This time we didn’t schedule a dog walker for when we came home, and honestly, if you have the budget, I recommend doing this. Otherwise it’s just a lot on the one partner for weeks since I cannot do long walks or go up and down stairs (we live on the second floor).
• organized all of the things we used the most with Henry and had them ready to go: swaddles, hospital blankets, burp cloths, diapers, formula, etc.

 

How is c-section second time around? And the recovery? Easier or more difficult?

This answer is probably going to read as a bit contradictory, but overall, my answer is it was all so much better. 100% better. And oh–did I say it was better?

Hah but ok let me rewind to in the hospital.

Decent amount of anxiety going into surgery… I mean, hey, it’s surgery. Things can always go wrong. But everything was a super smooth process. Very weird walking yourself into the surgical room and getting up on the table yourself. The room is hella cold. I still got the shakes which I’m now assuming is just serious nerves. But didn’t experience the nausea I know a lot of women get. But the whole process actually seemed to go faster than the first one I had with Henry (which followed 20 hours of labor), and I was giddy getting to meet Charlie whereas with Henry I was so exhausted and drugged up that it was all kind of a daze.

Unfortunately after I was rolled into the recovery room with my sweet baby boy, the nurses said I was bleeding a bit more than they would have liked to see when they pressed on my uterus so they had to keep me there longer than expected. They were literally weighing the pad liners I was laying on to calculate how much blood I was losing.

Here is when my anxiety went through the roof.

Bleeding too much?! What is wrong? Am I going to bleed out? I just met my baby. Oh my gosh what if I never see Henry again. Ahhhhhh. 

Lots of fun anxious thoughts like that. They kept emphasizing they were being overcautious and were not worried, but I had heard enough that I remained decently paranoid for the next 24 hours. Which brings me to day 2 of recovery in the hospital.

Day 2 is a real pain in the ass. Literal PAIN. So much so that I repeatedly said to Dan I’m NEVER doing this again, this is horrible. You’re probably super confused right about now since I said it was way better. I don’t blame you.

No matter what, the medication from surgery totally wears off on day 2 and you just had major surgery and no Tylonel is going to cut it so it is what it is and it’s a real B.

But what do you know–the next day was better and every day after that got significantly better. By the time I left the hospital (day 4) I didn’t even have a hard time getting up the stairs to our condo which I had been very worried about. I could move a lot and could do so much sooner than the last time. I also knew how to manage the pain (heating pad and pain killers). Speaking of which, I took two of the stronger pain killers in the hospital but they didn’t even help and just made me tired, so I stuck w/ rotating Ibuprofin and Tylonel.

Also for anyone who has dealt with the fun effects surgery and labor and delivery has on your digestive system–go BIG on the fiber as soon as you can eat. Avoid dairy and rice and anything that might block you up. And ask your nurse for the Milk of Magnesia after 2-3 days. Trust.

Ok, so as I said… we go home,  I feel great. I move around. Probably too much. When I was home a week after delivery and feeling great, I experienced a random surge of bleeding after it had mostly tapered off, and because of what happened after surgery, I basically freaked out and went to the ER (alone) at 1am. Dan obviously had to stay home with our two sleeping babies. Fortunately–everything was ok and I was discharged after a few hours. That’s anxiety for you.

So while the physical healing was great, and even with the bleeding I technically was ok, I had horrible PPA because of said bleeding and was paranoid monitoring how much I was bleeding. Following that incident 10 or so days in, I then stayed off my feet the next couple of weeks (which realistically is what you’re supposed to do anyway but it was very hard because I was feeling good and wanted to be as helpful as I could and be with Henry). Only did the stairs once or twice a day. I basically lived in our bedroom with Charlie those first couple of weeks.

The separation from Henry was easily the hardest part of the whole process. Hugging him and holding him while sitting is not the same as caring for him the way I wanted to as his mom. I could not pick him up for almost 6 weeks. So that was truly the hardest part of having a second c-section. That being said, not having to heal from what could have been another failed attempt at vaginal delivery and c-section recovery is a choice I am glad I made.

C-section recovery sucks regardless compared to a relatively routine vaginal birth. You’re bed ridden. You can’t lift your older kid. It hurts. Your maternity leave is  a combination of newborn life mixed w/ surgery recovery. It’s not ideal. But I would not have gone for VBAC either way so it is what it is. And we’re all healthy and on the other side of it and for that I am very grateful.

 

Bed time with two: how does it work?

I’m going to be super honest with this answer knowing I’m opening myself up to criticism… but this whole post is that already so what the hell.

Bedtime with two kids has worked only one way for us so far: with all hands on deck. i.e. Dan and I have tackled just about every bedtime together since Charlie’s been born–and if one of us can’t be here, I’ve had no qualms about calling in reinforcements from a grandparent or friend.

I realize if I was alone, I’d had to have figured it out, but it probably would have meant a very short, not very pleasant bedtime for Henry.

Those first two months, Charlie was, shall I say, not particularly easy to put down at night. (They might be using some of our Nest footage for Blair Witch 3.) I’m talking 10-60min of pacing with him swaddled in our arms back and forth in front of the kitchen exhaust fan plus a solid 20-60 min leaning over his bassinet gently rocking his little body until he passed out. He wasn’t necessarily crying that whole time; but he definitely wasn’t drifting off into a slumber very quickly. Best case scenario: Charlie’s bedtime took 30 minutes (I think that happened once). Worst case: almost two hours.  This all going down at the same time Henry goes to bed.

Now Charlie is 3.5 months, and things are so much easier. But both boys’ bedtimes are still happening at the same time (7pm). Henry is rocked in his chair with books and we sing songs; in the other bedroom, Charlie is fed a bottle, held upright for 15+ minutes because of reflux, then laid down. It’s 50/50 whether there is intense crying at any point from Charlie (mixture of being overtired, having gas, and most recently, teething pain… and some times we just don’t know why).

We are just now starting to combine parts of the boys’ bedtime routine and hope eventually it will all just be happening together. They started taking baths together a few weeks ago, and the last couple of nights Charlie and I sat in Henry’s room while Dan read to Henry, but then I took Charlie into his room to be fed (or Dan–we switch off each night who is with who).

I’m in no way saying bedtime alone is impossible and I’m sure plenty of you reading this have tackled bedtime alone w/ two under two. Hats off to you. My mother-in-law had 3 under 3 so I asked her how she did bedtime at the same time alone by herself. She said the baby would sit in a little bouncer while she put the older one to bed (baby was with them of course), then she’d put the baby to bed. My darling Charlie Lane didn’t totally inherit his dad’s chill factor–he’s a little more high maintenance like his mama–and he definitely wouldn’t sit content for longer than 10 minutes if we tried doing that. Then he’d start crying which would often turn to screaming, which would probably upset Henry, and it would all be a mess.

I assume I have helped no one at this point. Haha basically, bedtime requires two adults for now. And as I’ve always said: single parents, military wives, parents of multiples… ya’ll are superhuman.

Truly. You are.

*I realize we are lucky; but us both being here at bedtime was a very conscious and calculated choice we made. We both used to work a lot more in the evenings–Dan used to travel overnight frequently and I’d often do blogging and side jobs at night–so it’s a decision we had planned for.

 

Bath time with two under two: how does it work?

This one I’ve got down! But they did not start bathing together until Charlie had more head and body control and could comfortably sit in the infant seat I link to below. So the first two months they were bathed separately during which I recommend bathing the newborn while the older one naps.

Once your newborn can sit comfortably in the infant bath linked below, here’s what you need:

– lounger/bouncer for baby (we use the vibrating Bloom Coco one–the vibrations keep Charlie calm)
– towel laid out in said lounger to wrap the newborn in when you take them out of the water
– diapers and pajamas for both in the bathroom ready to go
– washing soaps, shampoos, and lotions (obviously)
— bath toys for older child
— this infant bath for the younger baby
– wash cloths, towels, etc.

Here’s my routine:
– if possible, turn on shower for a bit ahead of time with the bathroom door closed to try and warm up the room
– now that your bathroom is nice and steamy warm, take both kiddos into the bathroom and start the bath
– put infant in lounger
– undress older kid and plop them in the tub
– place infant bath seat in the tub; I pour water over it so it’s not cold for his tiny body
– wait for water to get high enough so infant will be warm and not sitting in one inch of water
– while water fills, I immediately start washing Henry’s hair and body while he plays
– at this point, water is high enough that I undress Charlie and place him in his bath seat. Water level is usually right around his belly button.
– quickly wash newborn depending on how happy they are in the water. Charlie has been able to be in the bath longer and longer as he gets used to it.
– once infant is cleaned, take them out and immediately wrap in the towel you’ve laid out in the lounger/bouncer.

– at this point I usually get Charlie dressed. While he sits in the towel in the bouncer, I lay a nice thick towel on the floor to lay him on and do his diaper and jammies and lotion–then he’s back in his bouncer with a paci.

– now Henry plays for a bit or I take him out and get him dressed.

Then they’re both ready for bed! That is bath time with two!

This can all get done in 10 minutes or 20! Not too difficult pending no one has a meltdown or poops in the tub.

 

Where do you get your formula?

We were using the Holle PRE and we order it here. We used it for a year with Henry so we got it for Charlie but he seemed to have much worse gas and reflux issues around 10 weeks so we switched him to Hipp Combiotik. Unfortunately there has been no obvious difference, so we are likely switching back to the Holle PRE since it’s slightly less expensive. This formula came highly recommended from a family member who did a lot more research on the topic–so we went with it. Both boys had Similac at the hospital and that also seemed great. I don’t have strong opinions on the matter–do what works for your family’s budget and your baby’s physical needs.

 

How did you know formula was right for you this time?

After just a couple of times struggling to get a very hungry Charlie to breastfeed both in the hospital and at home, I was like “f this, he’s starving, feed the child!” So we gave him formula. I tried a couple more times the first few days at home, but then I just said, ya know, this isn’t magically easier this time like I thought it might be. I don’t have milk flowing out of me left and right. Let’s make this easy on everyone. Formula it is. Instant bliss.

 

How did you deal with engorgement after giving birth by going straight to formula?

I wore a very tight sports bra for a solid week. Any time  I felt engorged I  self-expressed (most easily in the shower) and that gave relief. It fortunately was never bad; I never had that much milk.

 

What are your feelings about going straight to formula with #2?

 

Any pushback in the hospital for not breastfeeding? I plan to not breastfeed also.

None. I was confident whenever I said what I was doing. I think if you’re on the fence, they’re more likely trying to encourage you or help you with breastfeeding, and when you’re already feeling anxious that can feel like pressure instead of encouragement. I definitely felt more “pressure” with Henry, whether that was the case or not. This time around I was always matter-of-fact and never had the slightest pushback.

 

What is harder: zero to one or one to two?

This is difficult to answer because there are too many factors. If the first child is fussier and the second is “easier,” I’d say one to two is a breeze. But Henry was a decently chill baby plus there were two of us and one of him; so that was relatively easy.

Charlie is more difficult in ways because of all the issues I’ve mentioned. Plus with two babies it’s always one on one with no breaks, so it’s all just more tiring and more work. I think it has to do with the child versus the number of them, personally. But also, one kid will kind of always be easier than two just from a logistical standpoint.

But the impact parenthood has on your life when you go from 0 to 1–that was tough for me. Whereas when we had Charlie, I was already used to being a hermit and saying no to social gatherings. Not to mention sleeping less and being used to the sound of crying and spitting up. Hah this is the phase of life we’re in! Did I answer your question even a little bit? Hah If I had to choose, I’d say one to two is easier.

 

What has been the most difficult part?

Thus far the hardest part was dealing w/ Henry’s Hand Foot and Mouth when Charlie was four weeks old. That came near the end of my C-section recovery so it extended the time Charlie and I had to be quarantined. Plus trying to keep all surfaces Cloroxed at the end of every day to prevent Dan and myself from catching it–so Charlie wouldn’t catch it–that was the most stressful part. After that passed, every week has gotten easier and easier.

If that had never happened, I mean, of course Charlie’s fussiness has been difficult. But it’s also heartbreaking–we don’t always know what is wrong, and when he’s happy, he’s so sweet and smiley. It’s so sad seeing him upset or in pain… 🙁 everything I’ve read and in talking to our doctor–everything says reflux just gets better as they get older; it’s something he has to outgrow. And his sleep is already much better. But that’s definitely been difficult.

 

Have you made any progress with Charlie’s naps?

YES! If we are home, he now takes 99.9% of his naps laying down. He started to a few weeks ago. And has officially moved into the crib and we have returned the Snoo. Not sure how much it helped anyway. However, he is really struggling with connecting sleep cycles so his naps only go 30-60 minutes.  We can get him to keep sleeping longer when he wakes up after a cycle, but it requires picking him up and rocking him which goes against every sleep guide, so we try to not do that too much. But then he’s tired. Fun stuff. Starting sleep training in a couple of weeks when he is 4 months old.

For anyone who wants a super soft cozy crib mattress, this one is the answer. The one we got for Charlie was a bit more firm, so we switched it with Henry’s which is the crazy soft one. Henry is a great sleeper and hasn’t noticed the difference at all; but for Charlie who likes to be so snuggly, it made ALL the difference with the transition to his crib. The soft one is like 3x heavier though if that’s a concern.

 

How do you handle two babies? I’m pregnant with my second and am unsure how I will handle both. / How has life been with 2 under 2: easier or harder than expected?

Docking stations for both babies. Hah what is a docking station you ask? A bouncer, a swing, a lounger pillow, a pack-n-play. Basically something you can put the baby or child in where they will be SAFE so you can go do whatever it is you need to do with the other child.

For example, when it’s time to put Charlie down for a nap upstairs, Henry goes into his pack-n-play which we have  set up in our family room. He’s in there with a couple of books and toys and for the most part is perfectly content while we leave him. Sometimes he fusses when we put him in it. But he can’t get into any danger in there while he is alone and that is what matters.

Same thing with the baby. Have bouncers or swings where they can be safely strapped in and secure if you need your hands to do something else.

Teach the older one to go up and down the stairs themselves ASAP–ideally before baby comes. Whether it’s safely on their butt, holding your hand, or crawling. Much easier since you’ll have to carry the infant. Carrying both is possible, but not the safest option.

Find whatever it is that will keep your older one’s attention for infant feeding times… if that is a favorite TV show, throw your guilt out the window! Do what works. Your kid will be fine. With Henry, we typically set him up at his play table with an activity– crayons, Kinetic sand, or playdough usually keep his attention long enough; and I will sit in the other chair and feed the baby. But for that last feeding of the day before bed, Henry frequently gets to watch a Blippi episode while I feed Charlie.

Get the kids outside as much as possible. Fresh air does wonders. Mainly they sleep better. Having a late fall baby was much more difficult than having a spring baby, both with feeling cooped up due to weather and quarantining ourselves to try to keep us all healthy through this newborn time.

Your older one will fuss. If there isn’t anything physically wrong with them, it’s ok if they’re upset for a little bit. An infant’s cries take priority and that’s ok. This is a short time in their life and they will be ok.

We’re in pajamas–a lot. That’s ok.

The house is a mess almost all day. We tidy it in the evening unless we don’t have the energy. Also ok.

Do what you need to get through it. Your life doesn’t have to look like someone’s perfect Instagram reel. We’ve only managed to get two photos with just the boys together in almost four months (here and here). Two. Any time I try, Henry usually starts refusing. I honestly don’t know how people with a lot of kids take beautiful photos with everyone dressed like they’re ready for Sunday church do it. I can only assume magic?

 

Since you have two floors, do you have 2x of things set up on both floors to limit going up and down all the time?

Yes. We even keep a set or two of clothes for both boys on the first floor just to make it easier and limit the up and down.

 

If you could do it again, would you do 2 under 2?

In a heartbeat. We had wanted to have our kids close together and were very lucky that we were able to. I cannot wait for when Charlie is crawling and then walking… and every little thing after that! Even their interactions now basically have Dan and I ready to break down and cry tears of joy it’s so heartwarming. Charlie loves watching Henry. Henry gives Charlie forehead kisses or gets him his paci if it falls. No it’s definitely not always butterflies between Henry and C–H has his moments–but overall all the heart eye emojis. I love that they’ll have each other and be so close in age.

 

Was Henry ever jealous when Charlie arrived?

So this actually just started a couple of weeks ago. Henry was either too young to notice or care those first couple of months, but now sometimes when I’m holding Charlie, Henry will run to me upset and point to Charlie’s bouncer or play gym implying I should put Charlie down and be with him instead. Sometimes I hand Charlie off and give Henry a hug but most of the time I explain the baby also needs to be held. Kid’s got to get used to it.

 

How do you protect baby from day to day toddler germs?

Those newborn months I’d say I was quasi-obsessive about washing my hands any time before I held Charlie. And I ensured Dan did, as well. We’ve also got a lot more diligent about Henry washing his hands in the sink–especially any time we’ve been out of the house.

And to be perfectly honest, again you can judge all you want, I kept Henry from group classes the first three months Charlie was home. It was just not worth it IMO. Henry got bronchiolitis from swim class the week before Charlie was born; then got hand foot and mouth from a single playdate with a friend when Charlie was four weeks old. After that, I was like – that’s it! We’re going in the bubble! Hah mainly because anything a newborn catches is significantly more dangerous than anyone else getting it. A temperature of 100.4 warrants an ER visit for a newborn. That is scary! Charlie is now 3.5months and Henry started Little Kickers (soccer) and we’ll start swimming again this spring. It has been soooo awesome not having anyone sick in our house the last two months. #worthit

 

Did you experience any PPA? How are you feeling?

Oh for suuuure I did. Explained above. After that first month everything has been so much better. And I’ve loved being back at work! Was definitely feeling cooped up.

 

Do you ever feel trapped in the house or isolated?

BOY DO I. I actually answered this on my insta stories back when Charlie was ten weeks old. Here is what I said:

 

Best toys to keep toddler busy during feedings:

Answered above, but Play-dough, crayons, blocks, puzzles and Kinetic Sand. And the TV. 🙂

 

How do you handle people’s rude/judgmental comments? I feel like it’s inevitable for all moms but especially being on the internet.

It 100% is inevitable for all moms, and how sad is that? We just had an instagram post go live on @TheEverymom which is usually a VERY supportive, kind group, and unfortunately a comment war broke out w/ some folks tearing this woman down because her mornings “weren’t nearly as stressful as theirs.” Like… what? What is your point? But apparently comparing it to themselves made them feel better? I don’t even know.

When I experience it personally, especially online, I sometimes have a knee-jerk reaction to want to correct a false assumption or defend my choices. But ultimately, my time is better spent doing 100 other things (like with my kids) than trying to fix that person’s shitty opinion. If they want to waste their days following every move, post, and story of someone they hate, that is their prerogative.

Now if it’s someone who knows you personally and is rude, say a friend or family member or coworker, oof. I fortunately haven’t dealt with this much. But I know people who have very difficult parents or in-laws when it comes to “correcting” their parenting, and if I was dealing with that I would probably say as politely as possible….

 

I’m anxious to have baby #2 because I’d be with both during maternity leave; how hard is it to do solo?

I couldn’t do it solo because of having a c-section so I am not the best person to answer this. Because of surgery recovery, I literally couldn’t care for Henry. I couldn’t lift him in and out of his crib, into his high chair, hold him ever, etc. So his nanny was always here with him during regular working hours until Dan came home and I was with Charlie all day.

I assume you’ll just be very tired… newborns are exhausting no matter how many kids you have.

 

Considering a nanny for my 16-month-old, how many days/hours do you have her with Henry?

Dan and I both work full-time so we have full-time child care. We found our nanny through Gold Coast Nannies agency, and she is here 40 hours a week. Even though we both get to work from home a lot, kids require hands-on attention all day except the rare occasion they’re napping at the same time and even then that is maybe a 30-minute crossover. We wouldn’t be able to get any work done without child care. Our nanny took over having both boys when Charlie was three months old and I went back to work.

 

How do you find time for yourself lately–even running errands?

Honestly? I don’t. Any free time I have occurs at night after the kids are in bed, and I choose having dinner and going to sleep. Maybe watching a show with Dan. But mostly sleep.

We have groceries delivered at least once a week using Amazon Whole Foods delivery.

I’m pretty low-maintenance about my appearance at this point in my life which you can probably tell by looking at me.  I just got my hair highlighted for the first time in 2.5 years. I  get my hair cut twice a year. Otherwise, I’ll run out on the weekends while Henry naps, and Dan is with Charlie… like if I really want to get my nails done or need to update my eye prescription. Fancy, I know. But again I don’t do that often. I had a pedicure the day before Charlie was born, then got another one 3 months later. I’m super overdue on a dentist appointment. Oy.

If I do make time for myself it’s to see friends, which again, I think I’ve done like three times since Charlie was born. Womp womp.

Again I can’t say enough–it will and is getting easier and better. We just kind of accepted this is how it is the first few months. So not the case for everyone; but it is what is easiest for us.

 

Did you set goals to meet (financial/mental/career) before baby: 1st or 2nd?

Definitely. We had a number we wanted to see in our savings account before getting pregnant with our first. But long before that, this is going back to college, I always said I didn’t want to have kids until my 30s so that I’d hopefully be further along in my career and more financially secure. Because whoa kids are expensive. Child care and formula and doctors. Yowza.

 

Is it necessary to take full three months for maternity leave or is it just nice to have?

Totally depends on you. For some women, three months is too long. For some, it isn’t nearly long enough.

I had planned on taking two with Charlie (I took two with Henry), but ultimately Charlie was a lot more physically demanding like I said. What does that mean? Wearing him. Often in a dark room or pacing in front of the oven fan to get him to nap all day, most days. It would have been nearly impossible for our nanny to handle him and Henry. So I extended a third month, and I’m so glad I did and was able to because he got so much better during those four weeks both with being more chill and with napping laying down.

 

So that is that! Again–if you have any questions, I’m happy to at least try and help!